Speechless = ="

My initial glee was totally devastated and my drowsiness immediately faded when I heard the words come out from one of my teachers' mouth - "Some teachers complain about your attitude".

Whoa! What's wrong with my attitude? Have any of my words offended my teachers? Teacher's question was the explanation of everything:"Do you seldom greet teachers whenever you meet them?"

Well, to tell the sooth, I admit that I don't greet ALL teachers, but I generally will greet my subject teachers. Furthermore, definitely not ALL students greet ALL teachers passing by. Imagine you have to stop your conversation with your friends and say "Good morning teacher!" once a teacher walks past all the way you are proceeding to anywhere!

Two of my friends heard what I heard as well, and they, too, feel strange about the teachers' exclamation towards me. They also do the same thing as I do, which is, greeting the teachers we know well. However, I'm the only one who is accused for my somewhat "discourtesy"! Even if I don't greet the coming teachers, I have never shown any disrespectful expressions. Then WHY ON EARTH do I receive such accusation?

The teacher telling me the whole thing, however, made me a little relieved as he told me he knows my personality well and he just kept quiet whenever he heard other teachers mention my "rudeness". He merely asked me to pay a little attention to my attitude. According to my teacher, the teachers claimed that I'm academically well but not for attitude. An undescribable feelings surged into my heart upon hearing such words. I always talk politely to teachers and never rebel them although I insist my opinions. I don't like to hurt people and I don't like people feel that they are offended by my words. Yet everything seems to turn upside down. The feelings is nothing different from that when you make every endeavour in studying with the hope to score satisfying results, but the outcome tells you that your effort is not paid off. It's also nothing different from the feelings when you are persistenly working hard to reach your goal, but your achievements are not acknowledged. They are all equally the same, leading to disenchantment. I'm said to have undesirable attitude just for not greeting ALL teachers!

Supposingly I should have not taken it too seriously, but for no reason I seem to care and mind about it. Am I really that impolite and is it that urgent for me to change my attitude? I don't know. It's tired having to change yourself merely to suit others' demands. I should have got used to it for I have been accused by friends or even those I don't know since I was in primary school for no reasons. "Proud, vain,..." these are the familiar words used to describe me. Oh dear...I'm speechless.

无题

It was around 11pm. I was reading a Chinese philosophical and psychological book when, all of a sudden, a sentence ran across my mind. At the juncture, all sorts of emotions and feelings gushed through my veins into my heart, enabling me to complete a short passage(or poem) with the sentence as the beginning. Anyway, I didn't have the slightest inkling of what I was writing at that moment — my brain was totally blank. It sounds ridiculous huh?? Have a look of this "theme-less" passage:

这种感觉 又涌上心头！
销声匿迹了一段时间
它终究又缠绕我的心情 我的思绪
让我不知不觉
再度坠入幻想与迷思的虚拟世界中


曾几何时
‘它’的出现
让我心理、思想起了化学反应
欲制服它
却还是抵挡不住情感的威力
而被迫以失败告终
然而
越随“心”逐流
就越深陷其中 无法自拔


幻想的虚拟世界当中 是何等欢腾
俨然小女孩梦想有朝一日能当上雅典娜公主
或幻象着自己的白马王子
叫人回味、留恋
而虚幻的世界 也是何等短暂
不堪一击
残酷的现实把虚拟世界砸碎——彻底地粉碎
告诉我——
“是时候后从酣梦中清醒了！”
“是时候认清自己的命运与方向了！”


仔细推究
‘它’的什么
对我起着根深蒂固的影响
让我心甘情愿地沉醉在不切实际的幻想中？
善于分析与判断的我
却被这看似简单的难题考倒了
还是
根本没有什么 也没有为什么？
有时甚至怀疑
这种心情
是真实的 还是虚假的？
心中的疑惑
百思不得其解
任何公式 都无法解决


虚拟世界
是残酷现实的避风港
让软禁于枷锁已久的心灵
得到暂时的慰藉 暂时的解脱
但
美梦也有被惊醒的一刻
梦醒后 赤裸裸摊在眼前的
最终还是现实
方才解脱 又得承受
真令人慨叹：
虚拟世界与现实世界真是扑朔迷离！


夜阑人静 周遭静谧
萦绕我耳边的 仅是杨丞琳的 《带我走》
是的 带我走！
是让幻想带我走
走到虚拟世界寻觅欢乐时光 自我陶醉（自我灌醉）
还是让现实带我走
好让我看清前方的路途呢？


我想
还是先让周公带我走
走到一个宁静的空间
不受任何思想束缚、折磨的世外桃源
将已玷污的心灵洗礼
再在虚拟世界与现实生活间
寻找一个平衡点！

Lots of Fun!

Today, or to be more accurate, yesterday, was such a great day to me. This is the first time I have an outing spree with my new classmates. In the afternoon I went to Crystal's house for her birthday(she celebrates her bdy with us 1 day earlier).Then at night I went to Fairuz's house for Hari Raya open house...Feel tired after 2 consecutive parties!

I reached Crystal's house at 12++pm. At first I thought I've gone to the wrong house cz it was damn quiet at the compound of the house! If there's a party, even in the house, sounds could be heard at the gate. But the atmosphere was so quiet until I dared not to press the doorbell.Haha...After entering the house, I was told that Crystal was out and only 3 girls had arrived. So I sat down and watched tv...When most of us had arrived, I found that I had nothing much to talk with them. Perhaps their topics don't suit me? I started to find a little boring. Luckily when having our lunch, I started to involve in their conversations and after that, my boredom reduced. Then, they "chiong k" in living room. I seldom sing in front of my friends, so initially I refused. But they kept asking me to sing. So I breathed deeply, gathered my guts and "switched on" my vocal box. Luckily I din sing too terribly...haha...

We did play a few games later. I found myself not so awkward gradually and my real innerself emerged. We played crazily, shrieked harshly with all our might. According to Crystal's mum, this is actually the way we distress after PP2.Haha...we somehow agree. So crazily and wholeheartedly we played until the time to go home. Some were preparing for Fairuz's open house at night but some weren't.

My dad and sis were attending a dinner at 7pm, so I had to proceed to Fairuz's house much earlier(well, it started at 7.30pm). I arrived before 7pm. From a distance, I saw 3 guys standing at the compound and instantly I wished they are my classmates. Gladly, they are! Phew! I wasnt alone~ We were the earliest to arrive and Fairuz exclaimed that she hadn't put up her tudung when the boys arrived! We went around her house to have a look. Wow, it's wide and the design of the house is a far cry from ordinary houses. That's probably the affection of Islam and Malay culture, I suppose. There are a variety of fruit trees in the compound. Those are all the products of Fairuz's dad's hard work. There are nangka trees, mango trees, coconut trees and even grape trees! It's indeed convenient for them to have adequate amount of fruits daily and they can have different types of fruits each day! That's the benefit of planting yourself, besides reducing expenditure and ensuring your health. The mosque can be seen at the back of her house. She showed us the path which leads to the mosque within minutes so they can procced to the mosque easily.

I had even much to talk at night(and I'm glad for it since I'm not that talkactive in usual days). After having dinner, we sat in a circle and had countless conversations. Cheryl's extreme reactions were the additional entertainment for us. Haha... Once after taking photo, we found three small Malay kids sitting on our chairs. We were already fed up with them since they kept pointing at us when we were taking photo. Then when we took our seats again and continued our conversations, they kept saying "dirty" words. In fact, they were scolding us for nothing! So we kept "backstabbing" (not "back-" actually since we talked in front of them) them, but of course without using such uncivilised words. we just accused their stupidity and rudeness. Loo even played the songs in his hp at full blast to cover up their raucous and ear-piercing voices. They thought it's pleasuring or stylish or whatsoever doing so in front of us who are elder. After minutes of MUMBLING, they finally surrendered and left. Wakaka...I immediately clapped my hands loudly! XD

Thanks to Fairuz's mum for giving me a pack of fruits, and sorry to keep them waiting since I was the last one to leave...All in all, it was an enjoyable day which had built up a close relationship between 4S1 members. Ooo......it's so late now! Have to go to bed!! Yawn~~