Speechless = ="

My initial glee was totally devastated and my drowsiness immediately faded when I heard the words come out from one of my teachers' mouth - "Some teachers complain about your attitude".

Whoa! What's wrong with my attitude? Have any of my words offended my teachers? Teacher's question was the explanation of everything:"Do you seldom greet teachers whenever you meet them?"

Well, to tell the sooth, I admit that I don't greet ALL teachers, but I generally will greet my subject teachers. Furthermore, definitely not ALL students greet ALL teachers passing by. Imagine you have to stop your conversation with your friends and say "Good morning teacher!" once a teacher walks past all the way you are proceeding to anywhere!

Two of my friends heard what I heard as well, and they, too, feel strange about the teachers' exclamation towards me. They also do the same thing as I do, which is, greeting the teachers we know well. However, I'm the only one who is accused for my somewhat "discourtesy"! Even if I don't greet the coming teachers, I have never shown any disrespectful expressions. Then WHY ON EARTH do I receive such accusation?

The teacher telling me the whole thing, however, made me a little relieved as he told me he knows my personality well and he just kept quiet whenever he heard other teachers mention my "rudeness". He merely asked me to pay a little attention to my attitude. According to my teacher, the teachers claimed that I'm academically well but not for attitude. An undescribable feelings surged into my heart upon hearing such words. I always talk politely to teachers and never rebel them although I insist my opinions. I don't like to hurt people and I don't like people feel that they are offended by my words. Yet everything seems to turn upside down. The feelings is nothing different from that when you make every endeavour in studying with the hope to score satisfying results, but the outcome tells you that your effort is not paid off. It's also nothing different from the feelings when you are persistenly working hard to reach your goal, but your achievements are not acknowledged. They are all equally the same, leading to disenchantment. I'm said to have undesirable attitude just for not greeting ALL teachers!

Supposingly I should have not taken it too seriously, but for no reason I seem to care and mind about it. Am I really that impolite and is it that urgent for me to change my attitude? I don't know. It's tired having to change yourself merely to suit others' demands. I should have got used to it for I have been accused by friends or even those I don't know since I was in primary school for no reasons. "Proud, vain,..." these are the familiar words used to describe me. Oh dear...I'm speechless.

无题

It was around 11pm. I was reading a Chinese philosophical and psychological book when, all of a sudden, a sentence ran across my mind. At the juncture, all sorts of emotions and feelings gushed through my veins into my heart, enabling me to complete a short passage(or poem) with the sentence as the beginning. Anyway, I didn't have the slightest inkling of what I was writing at that moment — my brain was totally blank. It sounds ridiculous huh?? Have a look of this "theme-less" passage:

这种感觉 又涌上心头！
销声匿迹了一段时间
它终究又缠绕我的心情 我的思绪
让我不知不觉
再度坠入幻想与迷思的虚拟世界中


曾几何时
‘它’的出现
让我心理、思想起了化学反应
欲制服它
却还是抵挡不住情感的威力
而被迫以失败告终
然而
越随“心”逐流
就越深陷其中 无法自拔


幻想的虚拟世界当中 是何等欢腾
俨然小女孩梦想有朝一日能当上雅典娜公主
或幻象着自己的白马王子
叫人回味、留恋
而虚幻的世界 也是何等短暂
不堪一击
残酷的现实把虚拟世界砸碎——彻底地粉碎
告诉我——
“是时候后从酣梦中清醒了！”
“是时候认清自己的命运与方向了！”


仔细推究
‘它’的什么
对我起着根深蒂固的影响
让我心甘情愿地沉醉在不切实际的幻想中？
善于分析与判断的我
却被这看似简单的难题考倒了
还是
根本没有什么 也没有为什么？
有时甚至怀疑
这种心情
是真实的 还是虚假的？
心中的疑惑
百思不得其解
任何公式 都无法解决


虚拟世界
是残酷现实的避风港
让软禁于枷锁已久的心灵
得到暂时的慰藉 暂时的解脱
但
美梦也有被惊醒的一刻
梦醒后 赤裸裸摊在眼前的
最终还是现实
方才解脱 又得承受
真令人慨叹：
虚拟世界与现实世界真是扑朔迷离！


夜阑人静 周遭静谧
萦绕我耳边的 仅是杨丞琳的 《带我走》
是的 带我走！
是让幻想带我走
走到虚拟世界寻觅欢乐时光 自我陶醉（自我灌醉）
还是让现实带我走
好让我看清前方的路途呢？


我想
还是先让周公带我走
走到一个宁静的空间
不受任何思想束缚、折磨的世外桃源
将已玷污的心灵洗礼
再在虚拟世界与现实生活间
寻找一个平衡点！

Lots of Fun!

Today, or to be more accurate, yesterday, was such a great day to me. This is the first time I have an outing spree with my new classmates. In the afternoon I went to Crystal's house for her birthday(she celebrates her bdy with us 1 day earlier).Then at night I went to Fairuz's house for Hari Raya open house...Feel tired after 2 consecutive parties!

I reached Crystal's house at 12++pm. At first I thought I've gone to the wrong house cz it was damn quiet at the compound of the house! If there's a party, even in the house, sounds could be heard at the gate. But the atmosphere was so quiet until I dared not to press the doorbell.Haha...After entering the house, I was told that Crystal was out and only 3 girls had arrived. So I sat down and watched tv...When most of us had arrived, I found that I had nothing much to talk with them. Perhaps their topics don't suit me? I started to find a little boring. Luckily when having our lunch, I started to involve in their conversations and after that, my boredom reduced. Then, they "chiong k" in living room. I seldom sing in front of my friends, so initially I refused. But they kept asking me to sing. So I breathed deeply, gathered my guts and "switched on" my vocal box. Luckily I din sing too terribly...haha...

We did play a few games later. I found myself not so awkward gradually and my real innerself emerged. We played crazily, shrieked harshly with all our might. According to Crystal's mum, this is actually the way we distress after PP2.Haha...we somehow agree. So crazily and wholeheartedly we played until the time to go home. Some were preparing for Fairuz's open house at night but some weren't.

My dad and sis were attending a dinner at 7pm, so I had to proceed to Fairuz's house much earlier(well, it started at 7.30pm). I arrived before 7pm. From a distance, I saw 3 guys standing at the compound and instantly I wished they are my classmates. Gladly, they are! Phew! I wasnt alone~ We were the earliest to arrive and Fairuz exclaimed that she hadn't put up her tudung when the boys arrived! We went around her house to have a look. Wow, it's wide and the design of the house is a far cry from ordinary houses. That's probably the affection of Islam and Malay culture, I suppose. There are a variety of fruit trees in the compound. Those are all the products of Fairuz's dad's hard work. There are nangka trees, mango trees, coconut trees and even grape trees! It's indeed convenient for them to have adequate amount of fruits daily and they can have different types of fruits each day! That's the benefit of planting yourself, besides reducing expenditure and ensuring your health. The mosque can be seen at the back of her house. She showed us the path which leads to the mosque within minutes so they can procced to the mosque easily.

I had even much to talk at night(and I'm glad for it since I'm not that talkactive in usual days). After having dinner, we sat in a circle and had countless conversations. Cheryl's extreme reactions were the additional entertainment for us. Haha... Once after taking photo, we found three small Malay kids sitting on our chairs. We were already fed up with them since they kept pointing at us when we were taking photo. Then when we took our seats again and continued our conversations, they kept saying "dirty" words. In fact, they were scolding us for nothing! So we kept "backstabbing" (not "back-" actually since we talked in front of them) them, but of course without using such uncivilised words. we just accused their stupidity and rudeness. Loo even played the songs in his hp at full blast to cover up their raucous and ear-piercing voices. They thought it's pleasuring or stylish or whatsoever doing so in front of us who are elder. After minutes of MUMBLING, they finally surrendered and left. Wakaka...I immediately clapped my hands loudly! XD

Thanks to Fairuz's mum for giving me a pack of fruits, and sorry to keep them waiting since I was the last one to leave...All in all, it was an enjoyable day which had built up a close relationship between 4S1 members. Ooo......it's so late now! Have to go to bed!! Yawn~~

蓝色的阴天

窗外晴空万里，屋内却乌云密布．．．．．．

今早睡到差不多十点才起床，对我而言已是日上三竿了。一起床，第一个念头是：我得开始发奋了！因此，梳洗完毕，随便啃了几块巧克力饼干当作早餐，再翻阅时尚杂志，我便坐在书桌前，开始冲刺。从华语文言文，到Ａｄｄ　Ｍａｔｈｓ，我都无法完完全全聚精会神。脑海不断涌现的是前几天辩论零零碎碎的片段。既回忆，又自责。终于，当Ａｄｄ　Ｍａｔｈｓ习题做到接近尾声时，我先前勤奋的右手停止了机械般的动作。我实在按捺不住了，马上轻轻推了房门，放下铅笔，双手捂住脸庞，全身抽搐＋颤动．．．．．．

我任由暖呼呼的泪水流过手腕，滴在衣服上。不到一分钟，却莫名其妙地停止了。于是，我连忙把公式写完，之后呆坐在椅子上。

草草吃了似乎冷到冰点的鸡粥，我便继续浏览昨天的网页。登入部落格，看见了慧雯留下的讯息，着实感恩与感动。我之前已不下百次地劝自己抛开一切，不要活在过去，而是成熟地把目光及焦点放在现在及未来。但，江山易改，本性难移。这惯性跟随了我好几年，仍然舍不得抛弃我。也因为如此，我鲜少真正开心过，多半都是活在阴霾之下。

犹记得小时候的我，不知天高地厚，潜能较早被发掘，所以有时候有一些沾沾自喜的感觉，甚至说话刺伤了别人也没察觉到。以前，只要赞赏的话语传入耳里，我自然会暗爽起来。可是，不知到了何时，称赞的话语却让我显得反感，甚至被我唾弃。只要有人赞赏我，我会周身不自在，也不懂该给予什么反应，只会傻傻地莞尔。别人认同我，我却鸡蛋里挑骨头，认为别人在放大我的优点，缩小或根本没留意到我的缺点。真担心这究竟是不是心理疾病的一种。

人们说：“回顾过去，放眼未来。”可是，被家庭及友人认定是早熟的我，为什么却只懂得回顾过去，之后停滞不前呢？为什么我总是不能给予自己一点点自信心呢？也许是我顾虑得太多，常常设想一些过于长远的事情。譬如ＵＥＣ和ＰＭＲ全Ａ，我固然兴奋，但随即又想到了ＳＰＭ！想起来真是滑稽，连中四还没开始念，却想到了两年后的成绩。比我年长的人获得相当的成就，我就钦佩不已；而数年后，当我获得同样的成就时，却又不认为怎么样，甚至认为这是应该的、是理所当然的。

这样的思想，困扰了我好几年，使得我的嘴角变得沉重，沉重得扬不起来。自责、批评、忏悔，成了我人生中的“良伴”。我何时才能树立起自信心，寻获人生新的出发点呢？我何时才能停止口中的埋怨，不再让母亲操心呢？

终于，窗外的蓝天，变成了阴天．．．．．．

值得高兴吗？

为了避免感情淡化、记忆流逝，即使百般疲惫，我还是提起精神，在部落格里留下一些笔迹。

从昨天上午十时开始，我的心情和今年6月27日没什么两样，直到现在仍无法完全平复。要解释其原因，得追溯到6月27日之后的日子......

当宣布获得亚庇区华文辩论比赛冠军时，我们身上立即背负着重要的使命，那就是代表亚庇乐育中学参加全州华文辩论比赛。在亚庇区赛，我们表现平平，可以说是险胜的。因此，要到根地咬“共襄盛举”，准备功夫必须比之前多出许多。我们几乎用尽我们的空闲时间，甚至上课时间，练习辩论。由于没有任何军师帮助，加上大部分队友都是新手，我们只能凭自己的想象空间揣测正反两方的论点，因而花了好长的一段时间才宣布停止讨论。练习自由辩又花了另外一段时间，而练习对象也只有候补队友。加上得知半决赛面对的是盛气凌人、实力派的丹南中华中学，结果，第一道辩题花了不知多长的时间，才正式进入第二题。也因为第二题的讨论(根本没练习过)时间相对地短出许多，才导致我们在决赛差强人意的表现。

8月22日，早上8点半：亚庇乐育对垒根地咬根华
我只能说那纯粹是一场暖身赛。面对的对手实力一般，但我们并没展现过人的实力。胜了后，压力反而大增，因为我们早已预料在半决赛等待我们的是丹南中华。我们没能回酒店练习，只好在一间课室闭门练习，更正缺点，就连午觉也都是伏在桌面上睡，痛苦不堪。

8月22日，下午3点半：亚庇乐育对垒丹南中华
死期终于到了。上场前，我再次让队友听听先前在国会式辩论中所录下的ＸＸＸ（她可谓中学的辩论高手，名声响当当）“高亢”的嗓子，好让队友对她的声音免疫，不因为她独特的声音而在比赛时吓坏了。之后，战战兢兢的步入赛场。突然惊觉赛场的风扇停止操作，队友便互相询问是否停电。ＸＸＸ就在我们前面，她马上以她的台面语 + 标准的华文腔，精简地回答：“是！是！停电了！”我立即愣住了，心里还想：难道她平时谈天都是这样的吗？ （与她交谈后，才知道不是！）
自由辩环节中，明显的我方的气势稍微逊色了一些。但，他们绝大部分的论点都在我们的预料之内。而我突然有点愈战愈勇的表现，声音比平时洪亮了一些，而当场的结辩，却出乎预料地比上一场更为杰出。当主持人宣布我们为胜方时，我们不由自主地呆住了。我们竟然赢了丹南中华？！！队友们都显出一时的兴奋，但，我却不感到兴奋。也许是因为我的自我评价不足的惯性，我并不觉得胜得很高兴。我知道，当中的因素除了准备充足，更大因素是幸运之神的守护，只因我们的立场对我们有利一些。若我们的立场对换，我相信我们早已被干掉了。而不会有兴奋感觉的原因，是因为第二题的准备超级不足！幸亏主辩稿已写好了，要不然我会当场放声大哭 XP 等巴士时，很荣幸的我们能与丹中队员合照。他们并没因输掉了比赛而显得沮丧，令我佩服他们的精神。

当晚，我们到Hotel Juta享用丰盛的晚餐。但，我却无心用餐。队员们在高谈阔论之际，我脑海里不断浮现的尽是第二题的论点。老师也知道我们缺乏时间，因此，用完晚膳不久，我们匆匆赶回酒店，开始讨论（第二天早上就比赛了，前一天晚上还在讨论，显然没有准备好！）。直到晚上十一时，大家脑袋瓜开始出现停滞的状态，我才宣布暂停讨论，复习刚才讨论的东西。谁料到，我所谓的“暂停”，最后演变成了“停止”！大约凌晨一时，我们当中有些抵挡不住周公的召唤了，只好屈服，倒在床上。而当晚我们六位女生一同睡在两张双人床上！一睡，竟睡到了早上五点。我连忙叫醒队员们。大家也被时间吓醒了，起床后一点睡意都没有。我的结辩稿与总反驳呢，则相继在当天早上五点半和八点完成！

8月23日，早上9点半：斗湖政府中学对垒亚庇乐育
我们的表现验证了我们准备的不足。虽然对方主辩稿内容不像我们预设的那么复杂，但在自由辩中，他们的二辩咄咄逼人。说真的，我们并没怎么交锋，只因大家例子大不相同，好像在各谈各的。其中有一次，他们的二辩因为一句话而让我方愣了数秒。事实上，他当时那番话构得上是人身攻击，但我先斟酌一两秒，当欲站起来说他犯了人身攻击的错误时，我的队友却站了起来，但她没对他的那番话回马枪，致使气势略输一筹。现在回想起来，一、若我换另一个角度反驳，就不会被他咬住缺陷了；二、我应当及时站起来，直接说他人身攻击。现在真想往我胸口大力地一拳捶下去！
结辩，我也表现不好。虽然我深深明白，我的稿是在数小时前才写好，根根本本没有演练过，做得比前一天差是情同合理的。但，我到现在仍无法原谅我不完美的演说，而由于我的结辩稿是写在纸上的，先前也是背熟了的，怎知还是由于缺乏练习，一到了台上还是忘了一些。我想低下头瞄纸上的字，但眼睛的距离与桌子太远，根本瞄不到。就因为身高的问题，导致我犯了一个不可原谅的失误：我拿起纸来瞄！我知道我是情急之下所逼迫的，而虽然是瞄了那短短的几秒，但又自责当初没抄进小卡里。队员又在错误的时间暗示我进入总结，让我的时间还剩下20秒！当我坐下后，我的脸马上沉了下来，比锅底还黑，比垃圾还臭。对方的总结陈词，我一个字也没听进去。

到了台下，候补队员在我们一下台就跑过来指出我们的弊病。我的心情五味杂陈。之前还有评审认同我的总结陈词，当天却让大家看见我表现极为差劲的一面！我的鼻子泛红，眼睛热了起来，队友们也知道我快哭了出来，我却强忍着。回到座位，我一语不发，面无表情地观看建国对垒崇正的决赛。这场决赛是最有看头的。我发觉我的思维进步了，因为我听了这场辩论，能完全明白他们的内容，还能想出一道问题，打算在观众问答时间发问。终于，我鼓起勇气，第一时间走了出去发言。真开心我豁出去了！

丹南中华的ＸＸＸ意外地走了过来与我们交谈。她也猜出我们练习不足，并说我前一天对垒他们时的总结陈词较为特出。我们也向她坦诚准备不足。崇正其中一位军师对我的总结陈词大为不满，更加剧了我的自责。但崇正一位队友（亦是我之前的队友）知道我的稿是迟出炉的，她却说能做到这样算是不错了。真是谢谢她的安慰。

成绩宣布了。我获得国中组的最佳辩员，我队获得国中组冠军，但我一点儿雀跃的心情都没有。队员们也大同小异，原因无它，就是胜得不光彩。就连我们向朋友报喜讯时，心情也显得极为平静，并不以夺得冠军为傲。不过，我却为崇正开心，因为崇正队伍再次获得冠军，保留了冠军杯，而李佩怡突飞猛进，获得独中甲组最佳辩员！

这次的比赛，有一个突发状况，也有一件趣事。突发状况就是，我队队员认识根华的一位学生，但她并非辩论代表。结果，她莫名其妙地跟随我们进入房间，我们练习时也没有离开的意识。我当时好想她离开，但其他队友却确定她不会背叛我们，因此也就不予理会。怎知，她在我们练习时突然拿出手机录影，老师立刻暗示她，她也意识到了，一会儿马上离开。事发后，我的心情起伏不定，深怕我方资料外扬，练习时也无法集中精神。队友及老师再三担保不会发生这类事情，我才能继续练习。而初赛也明确告诉了我，资料没有外扬。

有趣的就是我被认错人。想起来还有几分滑稽。我获得了最佳辩员后，有一位男生过来恭喜我。他的穿着打扮时髦，样貌还不错，年龄在二十以内，但我从来没见过他。他从我的表情上知道我“忘记”了他，便试图“唤起”我们碰面的记忆。可是，我压根儿没参加过他口中所说的活动！而且令我震惊的是：世上还有另一个与我长得这么相似的人？哈......

这次我真得很荣幸能认识丹南中华的辩论代表。久仰他们的大名，但无缘认识他们，今年终于有机会与他们交谈！但只是其中两位,也只是短暂的交谈。当我们欲离开时，我争取时间祝福他们在全国国会式辩论有优异的表现。另一位男辩员也走了过来。他突然问我一句：“你form几？”当我向他说我form4时，他一脸不相信的样子。他们的领队老师也误认为我form6！天哪！是我成熟，还是我未老先衰？我明明是全队员中年纪最小的，却被认为是最年长的？哈哈......我知道，这应该是外貌的问题吧！“破冰”后，我从前对他们的敬畏，一瞬间转变成了钦佩。

终于，在不舍之下，我们踏上返回亚庇的归途。回到家，我累得行李也懒得管了。望着奖杯，我一点笑容也挤不出来。我知道，国中组实力最强的其实另有其人。妈反而不断肯定我，说在这么短时间内准备，能够交差已经算好了，更何况最佳辩员是评判甄选的，何必不断自责呢？我知道，我的心情得过了几天才能平复，但无法完全康复。现在，我唯一能做的，就是放开一切，专心预备来临的年终考。之前因准备比赛，温习时间大大减少，就算曾经开夜车至身体不适也无济于事。距离考试仅剩不超过三星期了，每一秒都是宝贵的。我最期望的，是我的心态能够彻彻底底地改变，不要一味自我贬低、自我批评。唯有从心态上改变自我，才能改变思想、行动，也方能在各方面有更标青的表现。

Answers of a "Test"

Sry for late answering the questions of the tag...I'm doing quite seriously now..Yea, QUITE.. XP

。。。。個 人 題 - 10 題。。。。
01 你叫什么: Fiona Fong Pui Wun
02 你的綽號：fiance, ang gu bak= =!!
03 你的血型：nt sure...perhaps B?(since both my parents' are B too)
04 你的星座：aries
05 你是男還是女：female
06 你幾歲：16
07 你住哪裡：on the earth of cz
08 你現在的學校 ：SMK Lok Yuk
09 你有沒有手機 ：yup
10 承上，那是多少：@.@ wat's tis question asking for?

朋 友 題 - 10 題。。。。
11 你最要好的朋友（限１個）：no specific 1...
12 你最討厭的人（限１個）：i dn hate other ppl, im jz fed up wf a few..

情 題 - 10 題。。。。
21 你有沒有喜歡的人：none
23 如果没有，你希望什麼時候有另一半： i cn oni answer tis question if im given d power to predict smethg
24 到目前為止，你跟多少人告白過：none
25 到目前為止，你被多少人告白過：erm...1..i guessed ^^"
26 到目前為止，你交過多少個男／女朋友： none
27 你現在有另一半嗎: none
28 你最好的同性朋友跟你告白你會怎樣： of cz i'll tak it as a joke!
29 你初戀情人突然跟你告白你會接受嗎 : i dn even hv 1..
30 你為什麼會喜歡你現在喜歡的人: refer to Q21..plz!
31 你和另一半牽手過嗎: refer to Q26
32 你和另一半抱或親過嗎: refer to Q26
33 你跟異性牽手過嗎： of cz la! for games n performances...
34 是誰，你們什麼關係：frens lo...
35 現在有人在追你嗎： including those chasing me frm behind? XD

。。。。混 合 題 - 10 題。。。。
36 如果有天，好朋友離你而去，你會怎樣：dn thk so negatively when ur best fren is stil beside u...
37 如果有天，好朋友背叛你，你會：of cz sad n angry...o else??
38 如果有天，好朋友對你喜新厭舊了，你會：do d same thg as wat he/she does...勉强没有幸福
39 如果你很受不了你的父母，你會離家出走嗎：well, my parents wil nvr let me hv such feelings towards them..
40 你上課認真嗎 ：stil ok..mstly vry concentrated since i dn hv tuition
41 你功課好不好：stil ok gua...
42 你开电腦都在幹麻：chatting, blogging, surfing net, watching movies or videos...
43 你的即时通有多少个同性: nope
44 你的即時通裡有多少個異性：nope

兇 手 題 - 10 題。。。。
45 傳給你這份問卷的人是誰：1.Chris 2.Oh...Hui Wen! XP
46 这個人對你好不好：1.depends on her mood lo(wa..sure wil b punched if i say lik tis!)bt better n better when she has bcme mature...hey,u bcme mature so slow la 2.ok...stil nt vry close wf her...
47 這個人是你的誰：1.my sis 2.sis's fren..my fren as well!
48 你有喜歡過這個人嗎：hw do u define d word "like"?
49 你們認識多久了: 1.since i was born 2.a few yrs..
50 這個人是怎樣的人：1.she prones to acting childish sumtmes, bt i knw she actually has a lot in her mind 2.nice..most importantly, thin!(hope ur plan of gaining weight wil b a success)
51 這個人正／帥嗎：1. mum is unfair..she has passed down all the better genes of appearance to her... T_T 2.not bad...
52 這個人跟你有沒有在一起过：1.almost everyday,every second! 2.we did go out once together..=)
53 萬一你喜歡這個人，你會怎麼办：refer to Q48

。。。。 聯 想 題 - 10 題。。。。
56 說到正妹你會想到誰：吴佩慈、隋棠、钟嘉欣...all tall n slim gals
57 說到帥哥你會想到誰：hmm....duno....
58 說到憨你會想到誰：Karen Chin..haha
59 說到痴你會想到誰：sumtmes my sis...
60 說到暗戀你會想到誰：nope..
61 說到出去玩你會想到誰：family, frens..
62 說到聰明鬼你會想到誰：Ho Gen Nen, Tan Ying Fei
63 說到傻子你會想到誰: d "traffic police" in damai??
64 說到笑點低你會想到誰: Karen Chin
65 說到愛笑你會想到誰 : Karen Chin

學 校 題 - 11 題。。。。
66 你的班導是誰：Cikgu Debbie
67 你的座位是第幾排第幾個：1st row
68 你最喜歡的老師是誰：庄锦致老师
70 你的英文好嗎：considered moderate...i thk stil a lot to be improved
71 你的體育好嗎: nt so bad
72 你的数学好么：stil ok
73 你喜不喜歡你的校長：no comment
74 你的學校好看嗎：no comment
75 你的班級是： 4S1
76 你的班級在幾樓：1st floor

A Ghastly Accident

Yesterday morning was just like any other mornings. In fact, the road heading to the school was not too congested I thought I would be able to reach school earlier. Who knows...

I was indulged in my storybook when everything happened just in a blink of eye. Out of the blue, my dad pressed hard on the brake and I fell a little forward, to the right as well. I thought that would already take me long to recover my composure and tidy myself, but I was definitely WRONG since another incident took me even long to do so.

At the juncture, there was an intense strength crushed into the back part of my car. I felt myself fall down even more, as if I was falling down into a hole with depth of infinity. The whole world seemed to be shaking vigorously, and the ambiance seemed to turn dim. I felt that everything was thrown to the front, including myself. Meanwhile, a loud harsh sound came from the back. Obviously something was breaking into billions of pieces. I thought it was the back windscreen which shattered. Luckily it wasn't.

Within seconds the car stopped shaking and I got up slowly. My head and my back were painful after being hit for several times. In dizziness, I found my car was in chaos as everything was thrown forward and down. When I looked out of the car, my dad was already busy making phone calls and trying to resolve the problem. Then, he hurriedly rush over to see if I was ok. He even rubbed the part where I told him was painful. I was touched, frankly...

Dad told me I couldn't get to school since our car was severely damaged. I kept reassuring my dad it's ok to miss a few lessons. Moreover, I was suffering from nausea since my internal organs were seemingly disorientated and upside down. Almost every part of my body ached and I was persistently engulfed by giddiness. Anyway, I just went to school when yee kee's mum offered me and another boy (who was involved in the accident as well and also studied in lok yuk) a lift. Thanks for her willingness and kindness... She parked her car at the opposite side of the road and had to cross the congested road to lead us to her car. She was really really absolutely kind and helpful.

Well, the whole accident is as follows: actually there were 5 cars involved, not 4 as what people assume. A Myvi stopped abruptly and the CRV at the back stopped too, without causing any accident. But the Nissan behind the CRV failed to stop on time and it crushed a little into the CRV. That was just a minor accident. My car was just behind the Nissan. Realising the car in front was involved in an accident, my dad braked instantaneously, and was ready to strive his car to another lane. Who knows, the Prado at the back was so near to my car it couldn't stop on time and crushed directly into our car. I supposed the woman hadn't applied the brake when it started crushing, for the strength was like a few oxen running and crushing into a man. Luckily there was a tyre at the back of our car, otherwise I think my dad's and my lives would be at risk. So innocently we were also involved in the already existing accident.

I heaved a sigh of relief as no one was injured in the accident. My dad and I were still suffering from pain at several body parts. Hope we can rehabilitate in a short time. I'm still mad with the woman driving the Prado... God bless, hope she'll never be driving at our back again! I have a phobia when passing the area now...

Head-swivelling toughness leading to this post...

SPM报考10科已成为事实了。说真的，这有一点扼杀学生报考科目的自由。但有什么法子呢？好多人都劝我别放弃华文，因为在外头没得学华文。我也觉得身为华人子弟，应该拿华文，不然报考华文的人数就持续下降。虽然是较难拿A1，但为了传承华人5000年的文化着想，唯有努力一些咯......

又隐居了好一段日子。这次的隐居，是为了亚庇区辩论比赛。幸亏在转校前有这两年的训练底子，我才能在乐育毫无他人的帮助下，自我训练，并教导队友，因为在他们当中不少是新人，甚至没接触过辩论。在得知亚庇区有选拔赛的消息时，我们仅剩两星期的时间，同一道辩题还需准备两方。我们几乎每天都留下来，甚至礼拜天的时间也牺牲了。其实这是相当不足的，因为要把一些同学从零转化到能应对其他学校老将，两星期又能做得了什么呢？无论如何，最后的成绩却让我们的付出有所回报。然而，得到了冠军，并不代表我校实力强。我承认，我们当天的表现，连我自己本身的表现，都是平平而已。得到了冠军和最佳辩员的殊荣，我却不断自责，不断愧疚，只因当我回想及看录影带时，我发现我的表现中存在着许多弊病，应该可以做得更好的。可是，为了避免让自己的情绪低落下去，我尝试往正面想：这是我首次担任结辩一职，在几乎没有任何训练的情况下，能做到如此应该挺不错了；而我自由辩较前两年也有了进步。我会自责、愧疚，表示我会反省，表示我还有进步的空间。何况裁判都肯定了我，我为何不自我肯定呢？

即将来临的全州赛，又是一个全新的开始。届时，面对的全是高手，而现在得做的，是更多更多的准备功夫。我没有期望些什么，只期望能汲取经验。目前，我也了解到，国中与独中辩论准备过程是迥然不同的。到了新的环境，就要有新的应对心态。

Debate is not merely a competition. It's about teamwork, about how every teammate cooperates with each other and is willing to sacrifice. The competition lasts for only half an hour, but you need to spend at least several tens hours to prepare for it. The process is, frankly, a hardship to encounter, moreover without others' help. Therefore, down the stage, debate is actually a test on your resilience, tenacity, determination, diligence as well as your willingness to sacrifice. Whilst on the stage, debate is a test on your steadiness, wit, confidence, technique as well as how you utilize your information and even your prior knowledge. The outcome of debate depends pretty much on the cooperation between teammates. If one of them is not cooperative, then I should say everything is over. I admit that the happiness at winning the competition is not usually commensurate with the worry and sacrifice leading to it. However, it's the worry and sacrifice which make you grow up, make you open your eyes and make you realise the saying "as you sow, so as you reap". If losing the competition, you should feel honoured and fortunate to be able to involve yourself in debate. At least you've gained a lot of knowledge which you couldn't find in any textbooks and most important, you've made new friends, haven't you?

I could tell that debate has made me grow up a lot, really. It makes me believe in myself that I could juggle my time between studying and practising. It makes me have the courage and confidence to speak in front of public. It makes me possess leadership. It makes me mature in thinking. It has brought about so many advantages to me. So if I am given the opportunity to continue be involved in debate, how could I let the chance go?

痴痴地等，伤透脑筋......

SPM报考10科已不再是新鲜话题。然而，教育部却始终没有作出一个明确的决定。每天都痴痴地待在收音机旁，报章一到手便使劲地“挖掘”，希望能看见相关报道。可是，每次看见的只是教育部的计划，以及各界人士的意见，心中的疑问始终得不到解答。不断在想：10科，我还得放弃4科，有这么多“无谓”科目让我放弃吗？若真的是10科，那就代表我必须放弃美术了。但，至今没有消息证明这一建议即将落实，而美术又有一个复杂的project等着我完成。去做，又怕到最后徒然浪费心思与时间；不去做，又怕不能在少过一个月的时间内完成。结果，到现在仍然未开工，每天守在收音机及网上新闻前，换来的却是一次又一次的失望......

一波未平，一波又起。今天傍晚又“杀出”新消息：教育部思考英文是否该列为大马教育文凭须及格科目。天啊！为何不尽快解决之前的课题，再来慢慢计划之后的“改革”呢？我可是心急如焚呀！唉......总觉得教育部近来喜爱提出一些惊人的建议，却迟迟没能有个决定，让莘莘学子的脑袋里充满无数个问号。不是说在上星期讨论这课题吗？怎么到今天音信全无？看来我还得痴痴地等待，脑袋瓜再大多几寸了......

Who's The Main Character? =.="

感觉像“隐居”了一段日子，现在应该是时候blogging了......

Yesterday I went out with my sis and her friends to 1 Borneo. Just before Ah Chua arrived at our house to give us a lift, I had a terrible stomachache and was wondering if I would be able to hang out with them or not. Fortunately it did not last for a long time and it went out just within minutes! Heaved a sigh of relief...

We went for dinner straight away as soon as we reached 1 Borneo. We had quite a sumptuous dinner at New York City. I shared a 9-inch-king-size Giant Yankee Chicken burger with my sis, Hui Wen and Karen. I couldn't believe my eyes when the waitress served the burger. Even a quarter of it is more than enough for a person! When I was about to take the burger, everyone started taking the french fries around the burger. I realised that I have quite a different habit with others, even with my own friends, which is having burger before having french fries. So I just followed them and took the french fries. It was as if no one dared to move the parts of burger out of its orderly arrangement until sis took one part for me. The meat kept dropping off from the bread though I tried my best to push it inside and inside, and finally I surrendered to the "obstinate" "hyperactive" chicken meat and just left the dropped-out pieces in my plate, enjoying the burger in my hands. Every mouthful of the burger was a new yet superb taste to me. While we had started savouring the burger, my sis was stil enjoying the french fries (without her awareness I supposed, since she always put french fries as her priority whenever there are french fries). That's why she claimed that she had already been full even though she hadn't even had a bite of her burger! She asked me to help her a little with her burger (hey, I almost finished my own part at that moment! I was already halfway full la!) Since nobody could lend her a "mouth", she had to force herself to finish it (some bread was still left on the plate at the end).

Mouth-watering Chicken Yankee Burger!


After dinner, we proceeded to walk around. Everywhere was seemed to be flooded by crowds, with the anticipation for Jolin. So we had to go upstairs by elevator. We decided to watch the show from upstairs (from a far far distance), but even the place there was such crowdy! We managed to get ourselves a not-very-nice place, which we had to move our heads and tiptoed to be slightly able to take a "peep" of the show. Long we stood, moving here and there, yet the main character still hadn't come into our sight. Sweat kept flowing from my head through my hair. FINALLY she came out with four dancers and started her performance. She sang and danced energetically, even my sis highly complimented her performance (well, she didn't talk much about Jolin before that).

After her performance, we continued walking around. Karen is really a veteran in those cosmetics and make up stuff. I had sought a few things I wanted quite desperately in Sasa. Wondering when I would be able to go there again and buy all those stuff I want...I even opened my eyes watching the two 'KKLS'(my sis's idea bcz she said all the students there except my sis's badge are of low qualities, with serious,horrible,terrible and vegetable psyco and mental problem!!hahaha!!and what I saw last night was really a fact and it proved that what my sis said was corrrect!^^") girls surreptitiously following my sis all the way up the escalator! Seemed like meeting with another Jolin huh?? I was wondering...Jolin should be signing her grand signatures on her albums, how come she emerged at the escalator at the same moment?Jolin, Christ'na,傻傻分不清楚? LOL Their acts were hilarious and extremely strange...

At around 10pm, we went for supper at Kolombong. I forced myself to have a dumpling..Haha.. Well, in a nutshell, it was trully fun to hang out with sis's friends. Funny and amusing topics will be popped out from their mouths from time to time and you'll never feel bored being with them. Thanks for letting me having an outing spree with you guys...=)

*******************************************************************************

Today I went for lunch with my ex-classmates at Maple cafe. When I saw Adam, I was somehow scared by his appearance. Please, Adam, eat a bit more and don't scare others even in the morning! He's so skinny that I'd thought I saw a walking skeleton! LOL

I was late for about 45 minutes...Sorry to Vincent, Nelson, Denise and Gloria...Forgive me please...But I wasn't the latest one ^^ When I went through the menu, I found that almost every food and drinks have been more expensive. Oh man... I ordered my favourite avocado juice, but to my disappointment there was no more avocado. So instead I ordered papaya milk ( deliberately? XP). I wasn't that hungry, so I ordered garlic bread. "No garlic." What?! Why everything I ordered had run out of stock? Then I ordered mushroom soup. The waitress suddenly let out a raucous and somehow impatient "HUH?", making me almost doing the same thing. I thought I had pronounced the name wrongly or whatsoever, but I didn't. Finally realised that she didn't hear what I said clearly...but can't she ask again politely instead of "HUH?" and showing a scowling expression?

Having quite a period of time chatting with my friends...My happiness wasn't commensurate with my grieve afterwards when I realised that the ribbon of my right high-heeled-shoe fell off somewhere! It couldn't be seen along the stairs up to my house and I'm pretty sure it had been falled off in damai...Haiz..careless me. This is the second time the ribbon of my shoes fell off. But what to do? I've to utilize my creativity to redecorate my shoes...

读书，为何？

最近常常在思考这个问题，今天与同学阅读《升学情报》一刊时，蓦然瞥见以此为主体的篇章—《为什么要读书？》，顿时目光立刻被吸引住了，大伙儿便颇有兴趣地阅读，不时也深表赞同，同时更肯定了我的想法。

不知从何时起，文凭似乎成了通往理想目标的通行证。别看是那么一张极薄的纸，其作用可是无可限量，决定着我们的一生如何度过。正因如此，文凭成了莘莘学子的追求品，而读书也顺理成章地成了获取文凭的主要管道。众所周知，读书能让我们汲取知识，自我增值，开拓视野。然而，时下学生读书，真的是为了自我充实吗？

马来西亚的课程纲要及其范围日愈广泛，学生被限定在若干年之内便得掌握好所学习的知识，并在官方考试中一一从脑里将之掏出。能掏得越多并越准确，便能成为学术上的佼佼者。这样一来，学生们素日就拼命啃书，认为多多益善，甚至囫囵吞枣，不经消化便往脑里塞。这样的局面让教育的最终目的彻底地被扭曲了。教育的原则不是德智体群美劳吗？为了一张文凭，学生甚至教师仅仅重视智，其他五项全置之度外。学生即使有再高的才智，但品德与情商差强人意，将来又如何无社会各阶层人士打交道，又怎能立足社会呢？

马来西亚的学生，必须精通三大语言外，更有多项科目必须学习，而且有者是必选科。纵使升上高中后，学生能自行选择自己甚感兴趣的科目，但还有一些科目是无从选择的。为了考取佳绩，学生将教育局所规定的课程纲要牢牢地所在脑海里，考试时再把书本里的文字几乎一字不漏地“复制”，“粘贴”。虽是说读书须靠了解，并非死记，但何科不需非凡的记忆能力呢？学生领悟能力强，但记忆力就是不行，难道表示他的学习能力不甚理想吗？

再者，考试真的能评估一个学生的学习能力吗？考试，需拥有充足的准备功夫外，更被许多外来因素左右着，譬如：当天的精神状态，身体状况，思维能力与精准度等。有些学生领悟能力较弱，需耗费较长的时间方能彻底了解课文，但是考试时间却无法做出调整，因此还未来得及做足准备便得进入考场。难道我们能否定它们的学术表现?这着实对他们很不公平。

分数，真的能评估一个学生吗？这句话已耳熟能详，甚至脍炙人口，但，有多少人真正领悟其中的道理？家长与家长碰面时，无不谈起孩子的成绩，有谁会问起孩子的操行分？分数真的不是首要，为何家长还急着送孩子到处补习？分数既不能评估孩子，为何还会有精英班与后段班？明显的，人们还是重视着分数，分数低的学生将承受着被谴责或训斥的压力。或许父母是“爱之深，责之切”，可是，在教训孩子前，先得查清：孩子是否已赴了全力？读书是否是孩子的专长？毕竟孩子不是读书的料，再怎么逼他也于事无补。这就等同于要不擅丹青的孩子画一幅栩栩如生的画，不擅音乐的孩子演奏乐曲，何尝不是强人所难？尽管如此，教育政策使得分数扮演独裁者的角色，让大部分人无法茅塞顿开。

正如《升学情报》中所说的：“当成绩标青的学生受访时，他们只是分享自身的读书心得，从未有人说过‘我非常享受读书的过程，它充实了我的人生’”。可想而知，学生并非真正发自内心地喜爱读书，似乎只是背负着无从推卸的使命。“万般皆下品，唯有读书高”已在众多人的脑海中根深蒂固。书读得越多越好。于是，人人都努力念书，甚至立志取得学士，硕士，直到博士学位。这些学位都让人们煞羡不已，但学了这么多，是否全都能加以应用？若非如此，多年来的心血岂非付诸东流？况且，有一部分学子无法承受学习压力，甚至寻短一了百了。这就是教育所要看见的下场吗？智商高，情商却低，一丁点小挫折都不堪一击，这难道是一个身心健全的人吗？

学校有太多东西学习，成天一回家便是埋头苦读，但读的全都是学校课本，时事，语文及其他书籍一概不理。结果思维受到束缚，不能灵活应变，只会把课文输入与输出。将来又如何能随机应变，应付重大问题？

无可否认，学习固然是学生的职责，但以考试为核心的教育却孕育出不健康的学生一族。学习是为了充实自己，不是与他人比较，而学习也得依照个人的兴趣与能力，这样方能培育快乐的读书人，让学生不再视读书为苦差。（本篇纯属个人对读书之浅见 ^^ ）

Elated? Grieve?

My heartbeat increased gradually when my English teacher went into the class, with a pile of exam papers in her hands. Oh man! What would I score for English? I'm nt that confident with English as I think I don't have a good basic. I've known the result of paper 2 (comprehension) from Roger, still ok I think...yet I'm anxious to see how many marks I get for my essays. I could feel that my hands were trembling when I got the papers back from teacher! Immediately I calculated the actual mark. Wow! Exactly 80! That seems like a dream-come-true to me as I aim for A's in my exam! Furthermore, scoring A in English is not easy. I'm satisfied enough with my mark. I read a few essays of my friends who scored well. Theirs impressed me profoundly. Hmm...I know that I still need a lot of improvement. Guess I have to reduce the time to watch tv and increase the time to read books after the exam...

Just when I was in the ecstacy of joy, prefects began entering every class. "Students, please go out! There's a spot check now!" Reminiscing what I had put into my bag, I thought that I would be safe. Just then, Vennesa reminded me about the correction pen. Oh! I have totally forgotten that correction pen is not allowed in Lok Yuk! Anyway, I didn't have any time to put it somewhere else. So I just headed to the outside with the hope that luck would strike me today ( impossible la!). As what I had predicted, I had to bid farewell to my correction pen..Haiz..Why didn't I hide it somewhere instead of just leaving it in the pencil case? Still being a bit remorseful for my stupidity...

My Bio results quite let me down..I didn't score very well in Paper3. Well, another improvement required..Paper 2 hasn't been returned yet. In order to get A, I can just lose 15 marks out of 100 in paper2, but that's obviously impossible! So getting ready to face a B for Bio..

Feeling so drowsy now..don't even know what I'm writing about..guess I have to stop here and finish my account homework which will take me at least 2 hours.I'm lazed off by my lugubriousness these few days..Got to be resilient and proceed to my tasks again though exam is just over.By the way, thanks a lot to Karen jie jie(weird weird de^^) for helping me with my bloggy!

A Whole New Feeling

Hey guys! Eventually I've created a new blog of mine! Actually I've been thinking of creating a blog since donkey's years ago, but I just couldn't find the time to do so. Now exam is over, so I make up my mind to create a blog, letting out my feelings and sharing every single of my thoughts.

I just knew that I'm able to join the STTSS monitor training camp yesterday. How blissful I was upon thinking that I'm going to meet my friends there again! This year, I'll be participating with a different status for I'm no longer a STTSS student. I decided to transfer to Lok Yuk when I was in Junior 3 as it's more suitable for the future I desire. It's actually a difficult decision to make as it indicates that I'll have to leave my intimates, teachers and the environment I have been familiar with for 3 years. I missed everything so much initially that I was really moody at the beginning. Furthermore, obstructions will befall me as I need to adjust myself well in the new ambiance. I also have to be active and initiative to mix with new friends or else I'll be left alone. The first few weeks was akin to a nightmare to me as I felt so jittery in the new school. However, things changed after some time and even my characters changed. I talk more than I did before and I no longer suppress my feelings, especially for laughing(well, I always laugh hysterically in front of others!). Transferring is a great turning point in my life and it has taught me that there are things which are required to be put down in order to achieve another thing. I have also been trained to be tough in new environment and learn to be independent to cope with any problems and difficulties.

Today I went to Yayasan Tun Mustafa to watch the scholarship awarding ceremony with my classmates. I've never expected to bump into STTSS friends there. I was able to greet some of them and chattered a little with them. They seemed to be a little shocked to see me in my government school uniform. Well, I know that they just haven't get used of my new look, yet I have as I've been wearing it for almost half a year.

From tomorrow onwards, more exam papers will be returned and I've to get myself ready to face any possibilities that may appear in my results. Hope I'll be satisfied with it. Bless myself!